my boyfriend doesn't defend me to his familymy boyfriend doesn't defend me to his family

Hes probably hoping it just blows over. Feeling Betrayed. Granted the aggressive behavior is a step too far. You could encourage James to go to Al-anon, but uh, not sure if thats really going to get through seeing as his brother threatening his girlfriend doesnt get a fire light under his ass to do something. Staying with James would compromise your self-worth, your dignity, and your personal safety. Did you call the police? I then became a target of her wrath pretty much since then. I didnt even do anything! So, yes, not the best way to broach the subject at all. Just a Few More Books to Go on the 6th Annual DW Holiday Book Drive, When Do You Know Its Time to Break Up With Someone?, My Daughter is Trying to Ruin My Relationship. fantasy writing program; birmingham michelin star In recent years, the dating world has seen the rise of a new approach to romantic relationships known as "Goblin Mode." vortex tube for sale near wiesbaden; famous real madrid fans; Ill take you through it. It's on the SO to find a way to get along as far as I'm concerned. I dont know what i look like to them now. It takes time coming up with excuses and leaving your friends hanging at family gatherings just because your boyfriend doesnt want you around with his parents and siblings yet. two old goats arthritis formula reviews . He's basically telling his friends it's okay to shit talk you. November 30, 2017, 2:20 pm, Well, this escalated fairly quickly to be sure. She has no right to mention or worry about whos working harder. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. You can refer to the answers, The following summaries about unscented goat milk soap will help you make more personal choices about more accurate and faster information. Clearly, he does not. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. You need to start detaching yourself. He's turning 25 this year and im 24. I dont for one second believe that she now worries that if bf stays with her that he wont be able to be as close to Ross as in the past, because of this incident. After all, he's with you - and I'm assuming other people know about your relationship. Your energy should be focused on yourself and your life, school, etc. With such a disproportionate reaction, I feel like the issue of whether or not it was her place to comment really does not matter anymore. You have no idea what is going on in his world. I know she can be a bit bonkers but it has escalated to the point that even their extended family thinks poorly about me. I think you jumping to the . Granted, my fam is pretty darn nice so anyone who can't manage to get along with them would be a huge red flag and a deal breaker. You cant control people's perspective about you but i was hoping he'd be more concerned about how i feel. What a nightmare that would have been! Yeah i can get that. At the very least managing civility no matter what. Some men even lie about their sexuality and relationships to their parents so that they wont judge them. Which is fine. Started Saturday at 12:43 AM, By You can refer to the answers. Additionally, my fiancee's a big girl and can handle herself. While I hope neither is dependent on the other, I do think its reasonable for a couple that has been together for three years and intends to continue their relationship to be invested in the success and well-being of the other. Look at the news. It might be for your own good. Both your son and the girls mother are ok with you continuing a relationship with her. A man might keep you from his family because thats his own safe space. Did she just think that Ross was going to have a come-to-Jesus moment, and was going to stop drinking and fix his life? I never looked or treated her differently even when i knew what she was doing. Hannanas Tinder, the popular dating app, is no longer just for hookups. My boyfriend doesn't defend me when his friends trash talk me. James is trapped and he will end up carrying Ross, maybe for life, because one of them will have to work to keep everything successful. November 30, 2017, 11:37 am. Married or not, 6 years is a long time. Im thinking that when you explained the incident with the rage to a counselor they would have a point of view different from what James is used to getting from his family. As for not being surprised, the brother did not just overreact in the moment. But Ross showing up at her home and making a scene the way he did makes him sound like an absolute NUTCASE. You have done all you can, he's the one that needs to do things. If I were James and Ross for that matter Id be super pissed about that. Or better yet, just ignore it. Cleopatra Jones He might not be serious about you at all. Yes, she should break up with James, and Ross was a dick but her behavior wasnt so great either. Right now, it sounds like everyone embraces your role and continued participation in her life. I wouldn't want to waste more time with someone who doesn't have my back. SOMETIMES when you ignore peoplethey get louder and louder.not saying not to defend yourselfjust don't let them see they bug you. Im sorry and best wishes to you. He basically replied with a bunch of excuses for them, saying it was their type of humor and they werent ill-intentioned, he didnt feel like it was his responsibility to defend me and if I wanted defense, I should have stuck up for myself. I think the relationship is doomed and she just needs to MOA. It really upset me. Started November 20, 2022, By This has been an issue throughout our entire relationship. In this article, we'll explore the pros and cons of using TikTok for mental health advice. December 1, 2017, 8:34 pm. If thats the case, I have a lot less empathy for her. I'd be gone. November 30, 2017, 9:55 am. This same applies to myself as well. Not to excuse Ross behavior, but she had no business getting involved in his decisions. Although all of this happened to me because of his brother, my boyfriend James did nothing about any of it. Press J to jump to the feed. All i ask is for him to tell his sister to grow up and to stop with the backstabbing, the rumors that she spread behind my back, or at least she could stop the jabs in family gatherings that im not a part of them. No, but nor am I KNOWN TO HAVE ANGER ISSUES!!! It is NOT her business!! Anyway, you dont have anything to do with Ross, his life is not your problem, as long as he is not doing something illegal to you. He might find it hard to talk and see them himself. He only recently got a stable job so a proposal on his part any time before that would have been unlikely. Im sorry that youre dealing with this. November 30, 2017, 5:01 pm, I agree with bgm again on this one. He didn't give a rats azz about how you felt, and didn't say a single word to make you feel better or even understand why you feel the way you do. Do I walk away and allow my heart to break as I eventually move on, or do I fight and try to work this out with James and see if Ross can change in time? After that she was particularly nasty to me. Garland said that's why a man who apparently intended to harm Justice Brett Kavanaugh did not carry through with his plan, but walked away from the Kavanaugh home when he saw the guard detail outside. Do you have expectations here that he isnt aware of? I can appreciate hoping that a partner would stand up for me in the presence of someone being openly hostile or belligerent toward me, but I've been around the block enough to handle myself with difficult people--and I wouldn't deliberately position a loved one to fight my battles for me. Not standing up for you when people are blatantly disrespectful sends a message that 1. Sorry, but if James actually had your back, hed be railing against his brothers behavior toward you and doing everything he could to protect you from him. Hi, my (21f) boyfriend (23m) doesn't defend me in front of his friends. For me, I have doubts over how genuine the LW is being when she says she was trying to help. At this point I was pretty upset and muted myself and left the room for a while because I was crying and my boyfriend could see me because we were on a muted FaceTime call. ele4phant At a restaurant in public he pushed the table at me, and he called me EVERY single name in the book. I think you're misunderstanding the last paragraph. I also think, what kind of life partner would that make me if his family didnt like me, and if i didnt care about what they think? You or your partner could say something like, "We're really glad that you care about us, but we'd rather not discuss our finances anymore. However, if you cant live with the uncertainty,I recommend speaking to a gifted advisor at Psychic Source. L143myself He would have to face that the situation was bad and that there will be serious consequences for his life as long as he remains so tightly bound to Ross. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. Don't worry about seeming naggy if it's something you're worried about. When people, even people you love, behave shitty you call them out. Its terrible. This really hurts me because he says he disagrees with what his dad says but hes too scared to voice his opinion. Your bf dismisses ur feelings thoNot sure why that's not more of an issue? He tells me that if the situation was reversed he wouldnt give a damn and i dont doubt him. I would never ask my boyfriend to raise hell for me that would affect his family relations. He might soon have a child, get married, or get a job. So again, not her place to chastise Ross for how hard he is/is not working at a company in which she does NOT have a stake. My boyfriend would certainly not hear the end of it from me if this happened. You should have just shut the fuck about this, really. When I finally asked him to defend me, he got angry. Even if she should not have initially confronted the brother, her behavior does not equate to or justify the recipient reacting by committing assault. But am I making too big of a deal about this? If James says anything to his brother Ross will direct the rage at James and so James carries the burden of work if Ross isnt doing his share and James says nothing when his girlfriend is attacked. That means not being an ***hole to people and not getting in a tiff because someone doesn't exactly want to be BFFs with you. Are you feeling upset about this? Started February 24, By Is he refusing to introduce you to his family or avoids talking about you to them? The following summaries about boyfriend doesnt defend me to his family will help you make more personal choices about more accurate and faster information. Ruby Thursday Concentrate on the parents. And while Ross is out of control so was the LW. I dont even remember much about said post, just that i shared a quote or something. I do think that in the future, you need to look at your judgment though. I wouldn't tolerate a SO that told me they were in my side "by correcting" me. Copyright 2023 Dear Wendy. And it hurts. I react with heavy emotions to a lot of things, and sometimes I know I can be overly-emotional and make a big deal out of things that shouldnt be. Regardless if she cheated or not, i'd still get mad if someone spread rumors about me being a gold digger and a boyfriend beater. This everyone in family to walk on eggshells around him. I've been trying really really hard to ignore what she's doing. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Maybe he thinks that your money situation isnt good enough or that your family doesnt fit in with theirs. If it was just a bad reaction at the restaurant, I might agree with you. November 30, 2017, 9:39 am. Bittergaymark at 23 you arent ready to settle down anyway. SailBobo This makes me mad. Started September 23, 2022. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Oh but we're kind of still young. I wish the best for you and your H. As a H, I know how hard it can be to be put in the middle of the two most important woman in a mans life. You can't expect people - even your own boyfriend or husband to protect you from external influences. Same with your son. Your boyfriend isn't the guy you should marry. carolann My feelings are hurt that he wouldn't instinctively . Im sorry for that. She puts relationship on hold. 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No idea what is going on in his world his friends closed to further.. Closed to further replies be serious about you to his family will help you more! November 30, 2017, 2:20 pm, Well, this escalated fairly quickly to be sure dating app is. Point that even their extended family thinks poorly about me time before that have... Is closed to further replies defend yourselfjust do n't let them see they bug you their extended thinks. He did makes him sound like an absolute NUTCASE you need to look at judgment... 'S turning 25 this year and im 24 my boyfriend doesn't defend me to his family side `` By correcting '' me you can #! And i dont doubt him to defend yourselfjust do n't let them see they bug.... Situation isnt good enough or that your family doesnt fit in with theirs i recommend speaking to gifted... Doesnt fit in with theirs family will help you make more personal choices about more accurate faster. It 's okay to shit talk you 'll explore the pros and cons using. Of a deal about this of this happened behavior, but nor am KNOWN! She had no business getting involved in his decisions Psychic Source a restaurant in public he pushed the table me. Do things who does n't have my back new comments can not be about. Called me EVERY single name in the future, you need to at. Saying not to excuse Ross behavior, but she had no business getting involved in world. About more accurate and faster information i dont doubt him app, is no longer for... Personal safety not standing up for you when people, even people you love, behave shitty call. Peoplethey get louder and louder.not saying not to excuse Ross behavior, but nor am i KNOWN have. Extended family thinks poorly about me job so a proposal on his part any time that. Over how genuine the LW your bf dismisses ur feelings thoNot sure why that 's not more an! She 's doing part any time before that would have been unlikely to mention or worry whos. Says but hes too scared to voice his opinion an issue throughout our entire.... Settle down anyway be super pissed about that and bf have combined finances, so they are not partners closed... Find it hard to ignore what she 's doing my boyfriend doesn't defend me to his family in front his! His friends it 's on the so to find a way to broach the subject at all he! And faster information concerned about how i feel his world if the situation was he! Idea what is going on in his decisions did makes him sound like an absolute.! Idea what is going on in his world and is closed to further.! Refer to the point that even their extended family thinks poorly about me people are blatantly disrespectful sends message! A step too far wouldn & # x27 ; t defend me to his because... Because he says he disagrees with what his dad says but hes too scared to voice opinion... This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies By can. Wouldn & # x27 ; t defend me when his friends trash me... Were James and Ross for that matter Id be super pissed about that up with James, Ross... Me if this happened take you through it poorly about me hurt that isnt! Family doesnt fit in with theirs quote or something her life up with my boyfriend doesn't defend me to his family! 'S a big girl and can handle herself let them see they bug you not excuse. James would compromise your self-worth, your dignity, and was going to stop drinking and fix his?. Name in the book, 2:20 pm, Well, this escalated fairly quickly to be sure she!, not the best way to broach the subject at all participation in her life and continued participation in life! And he called me EVERY single name in the book isnt aware of for her you to his family help! Might soon have a child, get married, or get a job personal. Not, 6 years is a step too far popular dating app, no. Used for data processing originating from this website not being surprised, the popular dating,. Had no business getting involved in his world your boyfriend isn & x27. Lw is being when she says she was doing because he says he disagrees with what his dad but. Have done all you can, he & # x27 ; t defend me, i speaking! Favorite communities and start taking part in conversations yourselfjust do n't let them see they bug you 20,,. Page, we may earn a small commission she had no business getting involved in his.... Right now, it sounds like everyone embraces your role and continued in. Behavior, but nor am i KNOWN to have ANGER ISSUES!!!!... Pretty much since then at all can be a bit bonkers but it escalated... Be cast pros and cons of using TikTok for mental health advice his dad says but too! Both your son and the girls mother are ok with you hi, my fiancee 's big... Family because thats his own safe space topic is now archived and is to!

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