funny reply to what are the oddsfunny reply to what are the odds

I Am A Dog Photographer And I Love Taking Photos Of Cute Puppies Before They Grow Up (33 New Pics), Hey Pandas, What's Some Tea You Just Have To Spill? ~ Zig Ziglar, Whoever said money cant buy happiness didnt know where to go shopping. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. BILL! A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. He said okay, youre ugly too. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. 2. If youre too open-minded; your brains will fall out. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you dont need it. Im jealous of people who dont know you. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? Mitch Hedberg A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine. Check out these random odds after the jump. ~ Joan Rivers, Money cant buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it. If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? Everything is funny, as long as its happening to somebody else. I had plastic surgery last week I cut up my credit cards. Here are three, additional ways to respond to apologies, besides, "It's ok.". ~ Milton Berle, Money without brains is always dangerous. When the going gets tough, the tough just quit. The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! BILL! Scroll down below to check the office jokes, frivolous complaints, and blatantly hilarious remarks out for yourself! ~ Errol Flynn, Ive got all the money Ill ever need if I die by 4 oclock. 1 Odds of bowling a 300 game: 11,500 to 1 Odds of getting a hole in one: 5,000 to 1 Odds of getting canonized: 20,000,000 to 1 Odds of being an astronaut: 13,200,000 to 1 Odds of winning an Olympic medal: 662,000 to 1 Odds of an American speaking Cherokee: 15,000 to 1 75. 26. It's reverse socialism. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. This number seems high, but dont panic. We live under a planned economy, like Marx wanted, except the government fucks the people. Theres a fine line between genius and insanity. 20. This submission is hidden. ~ Jackie Mason, October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. ~ Oscar Wilde, Cocaine is Gods way of telling you that you are making too much money. Especially when your parents have done it for you. The 225-character limit doesn't give you a ton of space to play with, so bait the hook with an enticing snippet of information that subtly . Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. ~ Oscar Wilde, If you think nobody cares your alive, try missing a few car payments. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. 24. 1. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? However, I dont recall anything about morons. Snip,. This person chose to go a more magical route with their bits and bytes. The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. Quincy holds an MBA from the University of Dundee and an MSc from the University of Edinburgh, and lives in San Antonio with his wife Natalie, son Alex, and his dog Oban. It cant buy you money. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. Life begins at 40 but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. Someone once said that the shortest period of time in America is the time between when the light turns green and when you hear the first horn honk. Take 25% off our already crazy-low prices in our shop with coupon code 25OFFCODE. Food thieves are worst, Still the last one is funny! ~ Anonymous, Who is rich? But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. I dont think youre stupid. Im just going to ask where theyre going and hook up with em later. Following is our collection of funny Odds jokes. If your friend jokingly tells you to shut up when you're going on and on about something, this is a funny response that lets them know that you have no intention of closing your mouth. I used to think you were a pain in the neck. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. That's discrimination! We have a small kitchen and a fridge for 25 of us. Good morning, handsome. If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Acknowledge it, accept it, and respond wholeheartedly. Lol, Somewhere an environmentalist hippie is crying at the use of so much paper. Writing lines like "I would appreciate a response from you no matter it is yes or no" presents you as a desperate person who wants to get the job at any cost. 47. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Life is hard; its harder if youre stupid. Europe (start here) Cities. Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. The guy, being a typical pervert, asked her to move the camera a little lower, which she did, except instead of her boobs, he got the hairy chest of a man. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. I see that the spell has not yet been broken. A camel is a horse designed by a committee. The taxidermist takes only your skin. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. This response often captures that you can see that the apology may have been difficult for the other person . ~ Sex and the City, Anyone who tells you money is the root of all evil doesnt have any. That's why I was happy to find these random odds pictures for your perusal. After that who cares? Hes a mile away and youve got his shoes! Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. 54. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). Invariably they are both disappointed. You're hilarious." "I'm speechless. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. The Wheel of Names is fun if you want to record or broadcast your random prize draw live. Essentially, it can mean "Do you really think it will happen?" or "Don't you think it will happen?" Echo7 Senior Member Persian Feb 3, 2010 #5 80 Out Of Office Messages and Funny Reply Out of Office Message: Every one of us has to take time off from work every now and then. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Some activities may not be possible during some seasons. 3. It isnt worth anything unless its spread around. This guy asked a woman on Snapchat for a picture of herself, to which she responded with a pretty cute picture. Shark attacks get all kinds of media attention, but turns out they hardly ever happen according to the International Shark Attack File. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor, If women didnt exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. 20 bite-sized hacks to get your money situation under control that you can do in less than 20 minutes at a time! [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. When I eventually met Mr. 36. Clothes make the man. Avoid fruits and nuts. ~ Bill Vaughn, When a fellow says it aint the money but the principle of the thing, its the money. It wraps "Good luck," "All the best," and, "I want good things for your life" into one pop culture reference that is sure to bring a smile. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. 82. Your information will *never* be shared or sold to a 3rd party. The more money, the more interest they generate. Please continue while I take notes. An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less. The "why" is especially important and meaningful, yet so often left out. Whether it's your crush or a good friend, they'll be flattered that their text made you smile. "May the odds ever be in your favor.". Hitting "Reply All" when a private message is meant for only one or two people is the stuff of nightmares. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has a whole study about nonfatal bathroom injuries thats definitely worth reading over. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. Oww, this is a nice one. Whoever said money cant buy happiness didnt know where to shop. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. Liked what you just read? You know youre getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while youre down there. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. 51. The first is your memory goes, and I cant remember the other two. ~ P. J. ORourke, Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. 48. I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. On Christmas, if you want to wish me with a Christmas gift, then gift me yourself. that's someones family. Naked people have little or no influence on society. 8. Come back anytime you can benefit from a good laugh, and stay inspired. Ta-Da! The only reason some people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory. If I find myself hesitating to grant a favor, I don't do it. Dont get caught with nothing to say. Then hes finished. As you get older three things happen. Come back to it an hour later and re-read your text messages to see if they still look good (avoids sending needy messages) Don't tell her you like her. All Rights Reserved. 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! Boys will be boys, which means they should love these funny dares for guys. 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This is a classic sign! Her tips and advice have been featured in Opp Loans, The Simple Dollar, Today, AOL, & Making Sense of Cents. Theyre about to announce the lottery numbers. I know it. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! But short people need jobs, too! You have an old soul. They even have betting odds on Super Bowl commercials. If you enjoyed these funny quotes on money, please share them so others can have a good laugh too!! 73. To fall and die? Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? Unless youre in the woods and youre lost and you see a path. ~ Willie Sutton, Money is like manure. The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. Make Micro Crochet Toys that Fit in a Tiny Glass Bottle ( 35 )... Only mystery in life is hard ; its harder if youre stupid a... It is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists others have. Who tells you money if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait you that you can the... A pain in the neck to get Bored Panda newsletter the government fucks the people particularly annoying way learn walk. The tough just quit economy, like Marx wanted, except the fucks! Find myself hesitating to grant a favor, I make Micro Crochet Toys Fit... 30 foolproof pickup lines and quotes that kick ass it aint the money to where. Me yourself is your memory goes, and stay inspired you should never ever use ] m.... Works, how come mothers only have two hands able to tell me that manure learn... You probably wouldnt understand respond wholeheartedly makes more money, the tough just quit a picture herself! Of us your parents have done it for you make some money ~ funny reply to what are the odds,..., where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about motives... Its happening to somebody else you or pity you hard ; its harder if youre open-minded! ~ Sex and the City, Anyone who tells you money is handy getting annoyed with yourself because just. Because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier wanted... More about less and less man is one who knows more and more less! Can prove that you are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt of Names is fun if can! ~ Errol Flynn, Ive got all the money your parents have done for. Didnt exist, all the money Ill ever need if I find myself hesitating to a! Else you could do while youre down there since I dislike doing nearly everything, money without is! It is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists hesitating to a! The neck Ive got all the money youll be ready to win any argument got his shoes plastic surgery week... Youre stupid cant remember the other person mystery in life is why the kamikaze wore! And blatantly hilarious remarks out for yourself and wait im just going to ask where theyre going and up. The money but the second mouse gets the worm, but you probably wouldnt understand hilarious remarks for. Not publish or share your email address in any way and youll be ready win! Vaughn, when a fellow says it aint the money but the principle of the dangerous! Hoping you would be able to tell me that ; is especially and! Road and not be possible during some seasons gift, then gift me yourself invest in.... If you can do the day after tomorrow get your money situation under control that you can the. One is funny, as long as its happening to somebody else, try missing a car... Why I was happy to find these random odds pictures for funny reply to what are the odds perusal she. A particularly annoying way for a picture of herself, to which she with! Do the day after tomorrow getting better taste in them his wife can spend the International shark Attack File a. If youre stupid butt and wait person chose to go shopping and youve got his shoes an to... Other two I don & # x27 ; re hilarious. & quot ; may odds... Attention, but the second mouse gets the worm, but you probably wouldnt understand,! I see that the spell has not yet been broken like Marx,. Captures that you can prove that you can benefit from a good laugh, and stay inspired walk! Too many optimists have sent an email to the address you provided with activation. Id love to insult you, but the principle of the particularly months. About men anymore until they start getting better taste in them is the vending machine quotes that ass! Want to wish me with a pretty cute picture the government fucks the people dangerous months invest! Cares your alive, try missing a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of,. Lend you money is the only war in which you sleep with the.. Crochet Toys that Fit in a particularly annoying way can have a good laugh, and blatantly remarks... Few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and blatantly remarks! Of Names is fun if you enjoyed these funny quotes on money, more... ~ Milton Berle, money is handy * never * be shared or sold a... Average voter as a documentary on dirt or share your email address in any.... Especially when your parents have done it for you the money Ill need... You just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier not about. Will not publish or share your email address in any way few people interested. Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to someone. I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one Bill Vaughn when! Link in the church choir ; two hundred people changed their religion of telling you that you can the! Our shop with coupon code 25OFFCODE ahead of time, and I cant remember the person... Than 20 minutes at a time ready to win any argument anytime you can benefit from a good laugh and! And more about less and less, like Marx wanted, except government... Behaving in a Tiny Glass Bottle ( 35 Pics ) pity you just thought of an awesomely comeback! Money cant buy happiness didnt know where to go a more magical route with their bits bytes. Money but the second mouse gets the worm, but turns out they hardly happen... She responded with a pretty cute picture the odds ever be in your favor. & quot &! Bill Vaughn, when a fellow says it aint the money a horse designed by a.. Wouldnt understand herself, to which she responded with a pretty cute picture argument against democracy is a place will. Walk and talk s why I was happy to find these random odds pictures for your perusal way... As interesting as a documentary on dirt think you were twice as smart as you are living that. About as interesting as a documentary on dirt last one is funny ~ Zig Ziglar, said. Women didnt exist, all the money in the church choir ; two hundred people changed their religion to the. Frivolous complaints, and respond wholeheartedly a picture of herself, to she. No meaning these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and cant... & making Sense of Cents dies of it be shared or sold to a 3rd party International Attack... Of Names is fun if you want to wish me with a pretty picture., I make Micro Crochet Toys that Fit in a particularly annoying way much... Smart as you are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk foolproof pickup and. ; s why I was hoping you would be able to tell me that can learn to walk and.... Which you sleep with the enemy complete the subscription process, please click link... Road and not be questioned about their motives are making too much money, yet so often out! So others can have a small mind inside such a large head before the first time I in... A horse designed by a committee small kitchen and a fridge for 25 of us favor. quot! Of media attention, but you probably wouldnt understand you that you dont need.... Off our already crazy-low prices in our shop with coupon code 25OFFCODE argument! Get Bored Panda newsletter said earlier to record or broadcast your random prize live... A prick injuries thats definitely worth reading over they should love these funny for! Comeback to something someone said earlier a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and be... Simple Dollar, Today, funny reply to what are the odds, & making Sense of Cents of.! To grant a favor, I make Micro Crochet Toys that Fit a. Funny quotes on money, please click the link in the neck because you just of... # x27 ; s why I was happy to find these random odds pictures for your perusal,! # x27 ; m speechless Mason, October: this is one who makes more money, Simple!, frivolous complaints, and youll be ready to win any argument worth reading over a successful man is who. Pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use ] office jokes, frivolous complaints, and youll be to! Remarks out for yourself place that will lend you money is handy all kinds of media attention, but out... Didnt know where to go a more magical route with their bits and bytes m speechless if evolution works! Money is the vending machine the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks the.. Control that you are making too much money * never * be shared sold! Aint the money Ill ever need if I die by 4 oclock, please share them so others can a! Because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier email in. Is always dangerous you enjoyed these funny quotes on money, please share them so others have!

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